A few years back I decided to put my name to my blog. My Husband was no longer "husband," my children were no longer nameless, and my name was clearly linked to my blog. Google Barb Peters and you will find me and this blog.
To this point I have never named the church in question that we attended and from which this blog sprung forth. I have never named the Pastors names or any of the other leaders - both past or present.
In part I did this because I was afraid. Again, to come out of a tightly controlled group who's main operation is to threaten you with curses if you speak against them is a very scary thing. Who wants bad things happening to them? Who wants to incur the wrath of God himself.
(Of course now I realize that to threaten that or even believe it is true is nothing more than witchcraft. You might as well leave a dead black cat cut open on my door step and call that Christianity.)
It also just did not feel like the right time. We were hoping against hope that somehow this church would change and begin to realize what had happened over the past 20+ years. Well, this has simply not happened. If anything, it has become even worse than when we attended.
Today I am going to name the Church and the lead Pastor. I do this for several reasons.
1. Anyone with half a lick of computer savvy will be able to link them now with the survivors forum (Keystone Reconciled) that we are participating in of which I posted in the last post.
2. As I indicated above, my name is already linked to it.
3. I WANT PEOPLE TO COME AND TALK TO US. I want to be able to have the conversations that we never got to have. I WANT them to fight and argue if they must. But I'm tired of this whole thing, person after person leaving wounded and shipwrecked and have it ignored and swept under the rug.
4. I want those who are going to Google and looking up this man and his 'church' to find out the truth before they invest years of their and their childrens' lives only to have them destroyed. When and if there is any movement to reconcile our lives to those I am naming, I will be the first to tell you. If it is in my power to warn those though who are starting to question or who are wondering if what they are hearing there is wrong, I want to be able to gently point the way to where they can get help.
My blog has helped many people over the years to understand that their experiences are not unique and their is life in God and through grace after such an experience. And for some very strange reason to me it is featured prominently in a Google search of various topics. With this platform I want to use it to the best of my abilities both to warn and to encourage those of you who land here.
May you find peace and healing. And to those who attend and especially lead this church - Come and talk. Don't come to threaten - it will not work with us anymore. Come to listen to people who still love you enough to call you to stop what you are doing.
Church: Former names - Church of the Harvest renamed to - Antioch International Church of State College. Renamed to it's present name of: KeyChurch of State College or Key Church State College or Keystone Church State College
Apostle's Name B. Perry Babb or Perry Babb Pastors names Jacque Babb and Jim Kilmartin
4 comments:
Proud of you. What a clear sign of your healing that you know you can't be manipulated anymore. I have long wondered if anyone from my ex-church would come to me and want to talk about it, but it hasn't happened yet.
Erin, It has become painfully obvious to me that unless we cry out with a loud voice, they never will come. You are just one of the ones used as sermon fodder for all who left...all the while no one comes to see if it is all true.
DAMN though ... I hate how it is still scary and how I still need to work through this. Showing that it is still not all out of me.
Yeah, I know, it is scary.
Maybe I've become apathetic, but today I feel that the cause isn't worth my time or emotional energy. I know that sounds callous...it's just that I've so moved on that I can't hardly muster anger over it anymore. Bitter, yes; angry, not really. Not to say I would ever refuse helping someone, I'm just not looking for it anymore.
Still, I think reaching out to help others is huge and I hope you have people come to you with the need to know your experience and your healing process.
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