Friday, March 6, 2009

Sin and the Breaking of Relationship

I have a feeling you are going to be reading a lot here about Love in the next little while. It may sound simple and boring but it has absolutely changed the way I think about EVERYTHING. It is like I have had one set of glasses on that colored everything in shades of gray but when these glasses of Love are worn, everything springs to color and life.

I hesitate to even begin to write about this because it feels like I have begun to understand something so very vast that it would be like saying I understand the ocean if my toes have gotten wet as I stand on the bubbly edge of a gentle wave lapping onto the sand.

Let me explain one train of thought as it relates to the concept of Sin.

I have always viewed sin as something that we do that falls short of a rule that God made. Sometimes this was an intentional act on our part, sometimes it was unintentional. Either way when we did this God was anywhere from mildly frustrated to totally consumed with rage toward us. Sin ultimately gave us the death penalty. Jesus had to die to allow God to even have contact with us. He had to kill his Son for our screw-up-ed-ness. No wonder he was pissed off.

But then I put on the glasses of Love and began to understand some things.

I believe the Father made us for relationship. I know relationship. I love it, value it and cherish it. Within this context, take for example that someone I love, someone I'm in close relationship with lies to me. True, there might be some anger, hurt, disappointment and such. But the greatest feeling is that something pure and right between us has been broken. A lie changes things. A lie breaks something. A lie becomes like a cancer - eating away at something that before, was whole.

Or take a situation where I get angry and I say a mean or degrading thing to someone I love. Inevitably something in our relationship gets broken. It is no longer the same and in some sense, can never be the same again even with an apology. The words are out there. They cannot be taken back.

If I understand sin between me and the Father (or another that I love) in this way it changes everything. Through the glasses of Love I start to see sin for what it really is and does. It breaks something valuable. It destroys relationship. It destroys oneness. It it heartbreaking. It devalues what we have together. This happens if it is between the Father and me or if it happens between my child and me or Husband and me.

Could it be that he sees sin like this? Could the act of Jesus coming to die for us be not one of a legal obligation that had to be fulfilled but of consuming love making a way for relationship to be restored? When he looks on our sin could he be looking on with compassion as the same way we would look upon a baby born to a mom on crack or a wasted life of drugs destroying a child's life and potential?

I have come to realize that if I can see sin through the eyes of love I have a small chance of understanding the Heart of the One that loves me and of actually being able to love someone else in the same way.


Tracy Simmons said...

Oh, Barb, I loved reading this!

Not too long ago I finally began to put on real "love" glasses and it has revolutionized everything--how could it not? Once I started to see through the eyes of love, it's hard to go back and see it any other way.

I'm looking forward to future posts of yours as you continue on in this train of thought!

Unknown said...


What joy to witness others entering this complete and total change of perspective. This is totally where we have been living in this last year. Love: It ends up uncovering all the illusions I have had about God, myself, and others.

For us, the real breaking through came as we started digesting through a bunch of Wayne Jacobsen's stuff - he is all about this and I HIGHLY recommend reading both "So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore" and "He Loves Me!" Also, download and listen to his "Transitions" series for free at: Also, the podcast at are great.

He talks all about how our skewed view of atonement gives us an angry God that needs a sacrifice to feed His ire. What kind of twisted view of God requires Him to torture and kill His own Son to appease His anger? This is a pagan idol - not the Father that the incarnate Christ unveiled. No - the cross is about breaking the POWER of sin and death in keeping us trapped in the darkness. But now - in Christ, we died to sin so that we could be raised up to a completely new life of LOVE!

I don't know why, but reading John and Paul know it's like all the pieces fall into place. Where I used to read into the scripture all the reasons why I should try harder now for Christ, I know see it as resting and living in a reality that has already been accomplished.

What a wonderful and blessed freedom this is! How can we have missed this for so long in slavish servitude to what seems now like a false god. The Father IS Love! And everything is different!

Blessings, blessings, blessings to you on this incomparable journey, Barb...

Unknown said...

lol - sorry for all the type-o's! I get excited when people get this life of love!

Rich said...

Such wonder filled excitement for you Barb.

In coming to "see" that our spiritual cataracts have been removed, the growing knowing of this pure heart of Christ in us frees us to see this God and Father of Love all around us.

Anonymous said...

Barb, I'm glad to see you posting again. Its a great journey you're on and I'm discovering the same things. We're currently studying the book about love that Alex recommended and the insights are awesome. Blessings.

Barb said...

Tracy, isn't that the truth. It changes us completely. Funny thing is that I did not set out to be changed. Just learning about the Father's love for me did it.

Alex, I traveled down the same authors and books as you mentioned. Wayne Jacobsen was the first and Darrin Hufford followed close behind. Both men have changed my way of looking at love both from how I view myself to how the Father loves me. I love it when people have read the same things as it makes it easier to know what we are talking about!

Rich, thanks so much. I read about so much of this when I read your blog too.

David, thanks for still reading here. I'm so glad you are being exposed to the same stuff. It just gets better and better.