Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Worship Songs Come to Life

(Pic from David Hayward @ Nakedpastor)

I’ve been contemplating something that Abmo wrote today over at Windblown Hope. He writes of the loss that so many of us have experienced or are experiencing. I know for a fact, I wish for what was and am having a hard time imagining what is ahead. He talks about the old life being like Egypt and the new life falling into the Son.

He says, “In the first instance, we can trace back what went wrong. Why did all those awful things happen? Perhaps, we can create a better Egypt. We can have a place where all the slaves are equal. Perhaps a smaller Egypt will be the right thing. Perhaps then, every slave will be seen as an individual that is an important part of the mechanism. No longer will the slave be overlooked or taken for granted. No, we will create a place where all slaves can be valued. Egypt after all is not that bad. We were fed. Ok, Ok… we had food.

The second option is to fall into the Son. That means, life as we knew it, is over. Jesus will become the whole lot. The Everything. When we fall into Jesus, warmth, ceases to exist. Destruction. Consumed. Decreasing. We lose. Only “I am” is left. Love. Freedom. Forgiveness. Delight. Silence. Endurance. Kindness. Righteousness. Vast open spaces. Friendship. Closeness. Gentleness. Playfulness. Good humor. The end of loneliness. These are some of the puzzle-pieces of the Person I worship, that have I have “gained”.”

Read the whole thing here.

Now I know from reading his site for a while that he is not saying that all small groups are Egypt (evil) so don’t even go there with him. I do think what he is saying is that it is much easier to cling to and try and replicate what was before than it is to move into the unknown with Jesus leading us.

But at first reading I took it as an either/or option. Meetings vs no Meetings. Leaders vs no leaders. Program vs no program. Intentional vs non-intentional. Buildings vs no buildings. Corporate worship vs no corporate worship.

And there again is my biggest problem. I want a pattern. I want the RIGHT way. I want which side to pick of the either/or scenario. I want the directions to put this whole thing together. I don’t want to get hurt or hurt others. I want answers.

But I’m not going to get them. At least not in the way I would like them handed to me. I know what Jesus wants of my life is relationship with Him. He wants to be the “I Am.” He wants to be the Meeting. He wants to be the Leader. He wants to be the Intention. He wants to be the Building and he wants to be the Worship. And I am just going to have to wait to see what he says about how that will look in my life today, tomorrow and the next day.

It is not an either/or and I miss the whole point when I make it that. It is a Him. I need to hear from Him.

We used to sing a worship song in my old church by Sonicflood.

I Want To Know You

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret, In the quiet hour I wait, only for You
'Cause I want to know You more

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize
Pressing onward, Pushing every hindrance aside, out of my way
'Cause I want to know You more

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I have not sung this song for over a year. And let me tell you, I had no idea what I was singing when I did sing it. I didn’t need to hear from Him then. I had everyone else telling me what to do, what to believe and what to become.

But now I need Him. Now, I really need to hear his voice, because if he does not speak, I’m lost. He has to speak and I need to be patient to hear from Him. I just need Him to speak.

So, if I talk to you directly, or leave a comment on your blog or blog about something and you can see that I am waffling between an either/or, right/wrong scenario, would do you do something for me? Would you simply ask me what Father is saying right now to me? I would appreciate it.


Anonymous said...

In my experience God often is silent for extended periods so I am actually ready and willing to listen when he does speak. By listen I mean accept what he is saying instead of responding by telling him that was not the answer I wanted to hear so give me another one.

I had the same experience on this issue a number of years ago. There was a long silence.

Sometimes silence is the best teacher.

Anonymous said...

As usual, you have hit it dead on--the fact that something very strong and forceful in me wants patterns to follow. Instead I need just to follow Jesus. Doing that, though, just following Jesus, isn't as simple as it sounds. As soon as I get today down pat I try to repeat today for tomorrow.

I do look forward to seeing what I will become as God works on me with this...

Heidi W said...

There is a lot of grief in the loss. And a desire to replace it with something 'healthy'.

I just finished the book (I think you recommended it to me) "so you don't want to go to church anymore" and the entire way through this story that nearly perfectly mirrors ours, I struggled with the desire to find a structure where I fit.

There is no life back in "the box"... back in Egypt. But the unknown is so... well.. unknown!

God Bless you in your transparency, and I know the Father will lead you through the maze and into what He has for you. :)

Tyler Dawn said...

I actually enjoy waffles ;) far superior to the bland monotony of pancakes...

Life without waffling is to have arrived at an arrogant certainty about something/anything when we are so woefully ignorant that we do not even have the wisdom to figure out the simplest of things with any sort of assurance of being right.

I used to say tithing is right but then God told me to stop and I found that it had become an addiction. I will still say it is right if He tells you to do it but it is wrong for me, is that waffling? Especially if He tells me to resume the practice tomorrow?
Then it will be right again, or at the very least something He can use in my life.

Perhaps there is more to our Abba than right and wrong, eh? He is bigger than the rules, He is the RULE.