Monday, September 1, 2008

Supernatural Words - I'm Sorry, I Was Wrong, Please Forgive Me

Over the past few days my blog has received over 900 page loads. My blog got picked up by a blog and a forum. Someone who was interested in exposing the New Apostolic Reformation landed on my site and started looking around.

I would have expected the pages that they would link to would be the ones where I was ranting about the NAR or calling for Honesty. But no….the page that was linked to and most hit was one of my first posts (The Person Formerly Known As Your Leader) where I publicly repented for my part in the leadership of our group. I wrote it as a response to the posts that were being written as the People Formerly Known as…… (You can see all that were written at the time at Bill Kinnon’s link on his left sidebar.)

As I looked at all the people who were reading my repentance and some of their comments I realized anew that the one thing the world longs for in relationship is someone who will say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Whether it is a husband and wife relationship, a parent to their children or a child to his parent, a governmental official to his constituents or a church leader to his congregation, we long to hear those words.

In the case of a governmental (or parental) role you might think that admitting your “wrongness” would give the impression that you could not be trusted to lead. This is totally opposite of the truth. Admitting you are wrong may at first bring on the, “I told you so’s” but given time, people will realize that you can be trusted more than those who rationalize and explain away their behavior.

The world longs for, “I’m sorry, I was wrong, Please forgive me.” These words bring out humility and put everyone on the same playing field. They cause you to get under someone that you have offended and then lift them up. They heal, they save and they restore relationship.

Those words have done more to repair relationships of Husband and I to our children than all the “parenting” that we have ever done. They have restored relationships of people who had left our church before we did - those whom we shunned and believed lies about.

In the realm of relationships these words are truly miraculous. They are magic. No.....they are supernatural.

Today, if you truly wish to walk in the supernatural, say them to someone. Then stand back and watch a miracle.

Let GodTV air that one.


Sarah said...

Wow! Fantastic post, there is so much oil on that!

Erin said...

Yes. The world does long for apologies.

This is so good Barbara and I'm glad your writing is garnering so much attention. You are priceless for the hear you share and I'm so thankful you can be the words...the words I can't think of but the words of my heart nonetheless.

Tyler Dawn said...


They say that most lawsuits can be settled with an apology. Mostly people just want to hear an admission that they were wronged. People long for validation and justice. I know I sure do.

Lita Wright said...

I must say that the post you refer to in this blog has helped me enormously. I could have written that same post myself. I long for the day that these controlling pastors will wake up and say those same words. Yet,I am sad to say that if they don't repent from their pride it will not happen. This is an awesome post.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I guess I'm one of those 900 page loads...

Although I left no comment on that particular entry, this one caught my attention in a different way.

Have you heard the saying,

"Those we love the most, we hurt the most"

In truth, we don't just hurt those we love, we also sin against them. We teach our children to admit wrong and ask for forgiveness, but do we practice what we preach? Is it a two-way street with our children?

I don't know many parents who will allow themselves to become vulnerable to their children on that level, and have that kind of mutual accountability with their children.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me"

Supernatural words? Yes. Not only because they can facilate healing and restoration, but also characteristic of that which is abnomral (not common).

Barb said...

Honest Blond, It was when those words were spoken to my children that I began to learn the lesson that if they were spoken the kids would actually trust us more - not less. You are so right. Thanks for commenting!

Tyler Dawn said...

I agree! My father would often punish me for things my brothers had done and even when he found out he was wrong he never apologised. It is incredibly dehumanising when people will not admit that they have wronged you.

This from someone who apologises to her kids A LOT, because I screw up often!

My kids know as much about my growing up as is healthy for them to know, and sometimes, when I come to them, sobbing and apologising after a blow up, they will hold me and say, "It's okay, that's just how grandpa Monty (my father, who is cruel to them sometimes too) treated you, we understand."

It is a humbling thing, but it cements the love between us more than just about anything else, that they are important enough to me to be worthy of an apology. That they are significant people in their own right.

Anonymous said...

"It is a humbling thing, but it cements the love between us more than just about anything else, that they are important enough to me to be worthy of an apology. That they are significant people in their own right."

I agree with you Tyler Dawn. I would even go so far as to say that this kind of bonding (mutual accountability) between parent and child is the essence of experiencing unconditional love.

It's one thing to "feel" loved when go about our day as wife and mother from what may be perceived as a Christ-like disposition. But it's quite another when our weakness is exposed as wife, mother, and human.

That sobbing mother humbled before her children is not just receiving forgiveness for what she may have said or done; at that moment, she (Tyler Dawn), is experiencing what it is to be loved for who she is at her worst.

Isn't that what we all long for? To be unconditionally loved at our worst, and to love others unconditionally at their worst. IMHO, unconditional love does not wholly exist apart from accountability.

My daughter just turned 21 last week. If what we instilled in her was that simple truth -- that unconditional love does not wholly exist apart from accountability to God (which was modeled to her through us), then I know we fulfilled our God-given role as parents.

Sorry to ramble on, and I'm sorry if I hi-jacked the comments.

Barb said...

Don't worry about hi-jacking the comments. You are welcome here. I love it when people relate to each other.

I clicked over to see what you are writing on your blog and have added you to my reader. Would love to hear your story. If you want to write any of it off line my email is at the top of the blog.