My daughter decided to call a very dear friend still in our CLB today. (it actually went very well - thanks)
The only problem was that we no longer had her phone number.
See, we had gone through what I am sure is a oft repeated procedure after leaving a painful church situation. The procedure????
The Cell Phone Purge
The “Purge” is simply the act that you take when you finally go through and delete almost all the names from your caller list. You do this for several reasons.
You Purge it because it is so depressing:
The biggest reason to purge is that you decide that you are tired of having your phone full of people who would rather not talk to you. Each time you scroll through the names to get to the two people that you still call, you end up so depressed that you don’t’ even call that one friend that you picked up the phone for. Cell phones are not happy cell phones when filled to overflowing with tears. Or toilet water.
You Purge it because the phone becomes abusive:
It is the cell phone that screams out to you, “YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS LEFT!” “JUST LOOK AT THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT YOU TO CALL THEM!“ Cell phones can be very abusive when they are filled with X-friends. I don’t blame the phone itself as it is probably wondering why it exists except for your circle of 5 that now contain only your Best Friend, your husband and your kids. Thank God for the Best Friend!
You Purge it because it is no longer a Ministry Expense:
Now it is the cell phone that you can’t any longer deduct from your taxes as a ministry expense. Now it is just an expense. (No......we never did this - some pastors would though I expect.)
You Purge it because you don’t want to push the wrong button:
Say, you have the pastor and his wife with the last name that is spelled so that it falls next to one of your daughters and you don’t’ want to dial it by mistake. (How awkward would that conversation be? “Um, Hi _________, So….I heard…you..um….bumped into….um…my daughter….the…other day. How was that for you? Soooooo….Ok, bye then.”)
You purge it so that you can make room for all the new friends that you will soon have:
Riiiiigggghhhhhhttttttt. Keep dreaming.
So you go through the purge. Followed closely by a really good cry. Just put the phone down first.
But take heart, one day you may get to add a name back in. Keep a record. You just might need those phone numbers.
It was really fun. The Cell Phone seemed happy too.