One of the things I think I have feared the most is both the idea that somehow I might be bitter and with that bitterness that I will not "move on."
I think you might have heard the same thing in your own lives. If you talk about the things that have happened one of the first things said to you by well meaning friends is this idea that they fear we might become bitter and that we "won't let this all go" and "move on."
So I fear that since I am still writing about it and explaining what happened to us that the verdict will be - "see, you haven't moved on."
Well today I have had a revelation of my own heart that has helped me and I hope will help those who lovingly worry about me.
I have moved on!
I have moved on to help others either heal from their own experiences and/or help them out of their present situation by seeing someone else's story or hearing the truth about the spiritual abuse that they are experiencing.
And you know what? I think I 'moved on' very early in this blog - almost from the very beginning. If you read "The Reason for the Blog" on the sidebar of this site you will read that my desire back then was that it would help someone else. Yes, I realize that I also needed healing and a place to vent a bit but honestly the minute I was "out" of the situation I began to want to desperately help others like I had been helped.
So for those who might be worried about me not moving past this issue in my life, please be assured, I have. Yes, there are still stories to be told and even some repentance that I will still need to deal with in my own life. But my point is NOT to rehash this or to have some sort of vengeance on those still in the system.
I've moved from a house called Hurting to a brand new address called Helping.
For anyone who wants to visit me there, please write, call or come and sit on my deck and hopefully we can sort out together what Father's heart is for all of this. You may not move on yourself to "help." But your moving on can be to something that God has called you to do and be involved with.
For me, today, I'm sure for the first time of my "calling."
(Big sigh)
6 comments:
I hear ya Barb, I hear ya. I've been in that space for a number of years and I've learned that pacing is important. There are so many hurting and broken people in the wake of some church organizations. One can easily be overwhelmed.
Barb, I've been quietly tracking with you here since you recently started posting more frequently...and I have two thoughts from this post in particular:
1. There's nothing wrong with processing pain. And the very fact that you didn't name names early on showed your good intentions. You moved on long before this all started.
2. Too many times the people who play the "move on" and "let it go" cards are simply unwilling to be accountable for their own crap. It's a convenient excuse for avoidance.
Wayward Son (aka Jeff McQ)
Thanks Leighton, Your site has been amazing. I send people to it all the time. thanks for keeping it up and enduring. I think more will visit it in the years to come.
Jeff!! Greetings and thanks for the encouragement. I agree. BTW - where are you blogging personal stuff. shoot me a personal email if you don't want to leave it here. I just quit reading so many sites as I just took a break.
To me your voice sounds like clarity, reason and insight.....not bitterness. And it's a welcome and necessary voice. I learn so much from you!
Never thought that you had not moved on, the moving out was the moving on. Thank you for the responsible way that you have handled this painful chapter of your life
Yes, you have moved on to HELPING and I'm thankful for your willingness to do so!
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