Didn’t they realize that even though we disagree on church things I still love them and their family?
But they didn’t call.
Maybe their invitation got lost in the mail. Wouldn’t they call then to see why we did not RSVP?
But they didn’t call.
Don’t they realize that even though we disagreed sharply and are not now in the same church, nothing would have stopped us from joyfully attending their daughter’s wedding?
But they didn’t call.
Do they not remember the times I stood up for their daughter? I was the one who encouraged her when everyone else wanted to give up on her. Don’t they remember how I loved her and believed in her?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that I spent the week before her day crying that I was going to miss her wedding?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that somehow I thought that even at the very last minute they would call and say, “What in the world are we thinking…Of course we want you here…Please come.”?
But they didn’t call.
Don’t they remember that we were family? Family can disagree on the huge, important things and yet come together on the real things, right?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that I spent the time that the service was going on silent, thinking and praying that God would be there in all of his love and fullness?
But they didn’t call.
Do they think that just because we left, we don’t love them or care deeply for them?
But they didn’t call
Don’t they know that despite our differences we still rejoice at every good and perfect gift that comes to them from the Father?
But they didn’t call.
I don’t write this to garner your sympathy. Father’s love and abiding presence is the only balm for such things. I also do not write this to garner any support for “my side.” There is no “my side” nor do I want you on it.
I write this for the same reason that I blog at all. I write so that when you experience hurt that decisions like this bring, you will feel that someone else has maybe felt it too and that they said that God would be there in the midst of their tears and heartache (and at moments…anger).
He was.
He called….He came….He cried with me….He never left…He understood.
He even understands why they didn’t call.
And He loves.
But they didn’t call.
Maybe their invitation got lost in the mail. Wouldn’t they call then to see why we did not RSVP?
But they didn’t call.
Don’t they realize that even though we disagreed sharply and are not now in the same church, nothing would have stopped us from joyfully attending their daughter’s wedding?
But they didn’t call.
Do they not remember the times I stood up for their daughter? I was the one who encouraged her when everyone else wanted to give up on her. Don’t they remember how I loved her and believed in her?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that I spent the week before her day crying that I was going to miss her wedding?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that somehow I thought that even at the very last minute they would call and say, “What in the world are we thinking…Of course we want you here…Please come.”?
But they didn’t call.
Don’t they remember that we were family? Family can disagree on the huge, important things and yet come together on the real things, right?
But they didn’t call.
Do they understand that I spent the time that the service was going on silent, thinking and praying that God would be there in all of his love and fullness?
But they didn’t call.
Do they think that just because we left, we don’t love them or care deeply for them?
But they didn’t call
Don’t they know that despite our differences we still rejoice at every good and perfect gift that comes to them from the Father?
But they didn’t call.
I don’t write this to garner your sympathy. Father’s love and abiding presence is the only balm for such things. I also do not write this to garner any support for “my side.” There is no “my side” nor do I want you on it.
I write this for the same reason that I blog at all. I write so that when you experience hurt that decisions like this bring, you will feel that someone else has maybe felt it too and that they said that God would be there in the midst of their tears and heartache (and at moments…anger).
He was.
He called….He came….He cried with me….He never left…He understood.
He even understands why they didn’t call.
And He loves.
8 comments:
Wow, I'm glad for your conclusions! Papa is there and always be.
Thank you for writing so tenderly about our Father's care. His love is great. Bless you.
I've been there. I'm sorry you went through this, but I'm also encouraged by your words. Beautiful.
You're not alone. You're still my favorite and I love you.
BF
Anonymous, Thanks, I just read the Shack and fell in love with "Papa"
Jeff, I read a bit for a minute on your blog. I cannot believe how many people are out there that have wonderful things to say. Thanks for commenting.
Erin, Your constant attention here is so loving. Thanks
BF, I almost called you and told you not to read this one, but then you already knew all I was feeling. I love you so much.
Thanks for writing this... representative of similar stories held by so many "leavers." We grok.
barb, you're invited to join a synchroblog:
http://cindybryan.blogspot.com/2007/08/synchroblog-how-do-you-pray.html
wow, I understand this so much! I really wish you didn't have to feel all this, but as you said, it does draw us close to His heart. Life goes on!
Our hearts are in His hands.
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